Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize