Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
