Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize