Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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