Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
