I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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