You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's blow job season.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize