The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize