We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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