It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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