so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
