is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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