i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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