just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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