the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
