Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
