If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
