talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm passing your future prison.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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