i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
