Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize