I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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