Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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