We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
