Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
