you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
