Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
