You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
