I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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