Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
