i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
