Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i need some magic done to my vagina
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
