dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
