Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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