plz talk dirty to me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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