it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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