I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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