i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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