I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
