Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
