I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
