Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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