Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
