hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
