So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
