So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
