he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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