never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
