she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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