It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
