I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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