tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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