so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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