can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
