It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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