I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I yelled at your uterus for you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
