My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
is it fun? or sober?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
