but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
