I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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