He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
